If I have ever claimed perfection or my words have caused you to believe me impervious to the common temptations of man forgive me. Not only am I not perfect I wrestle with Paul for title of “the worst of sinners.” I am imperfect and my imperfection, my stubbornness, my ignorance is the greatest limiter to my usefulness.
I tremble at the thought that my failures reflect poorly on the God who calls me His. My imagination reels to think He might see my licentious heart, understand my leprous thoughts, and quietly put me aside. He has not and He will not.
Nathan spoke four fatal words to David: “You are the man!” David was shaken. Exposed sin has this effect on those who are “after God’s own heart.” It moves those who are pursuant of righteousness to confession and repentance. I have not committed adultery with my body but my eyes have betrayed my resolve.
I have not murdered with my hands but I have hated in my heart and killed with my tongue. Daily, hourly, I am “the man!” I mourn the weakness of my own humanity and the distance of the pursued perfection.
It is the reality of who I really am, the knowledge of whom God really loves, the understanding of the wretch for whom Christ died, that makes grace seem to me all the more amazing.
f course we all need grace but it feels as though it were tailored made for me. It is cut too large for this frail frame of mine yet it comforts me. My failures humble me but humble pie is a necessary part of every spiritual diet. Should I ever claim perfection — somebody please wake me. Should I ever cease to pursue perfection — somebody please prod me. I am who I am, but I hope to be better than him soon.
“But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.” 1Tim. 1:16
2Sam. 12:7, Matt. 5:48, Acts 13:22, 2Cor. 12:9, Phil. 3:12, Hebr. 13:5, James 3:2