If only these things were more simple. If only marriage itself were as easy as choosing a person to your liking and then (after the fairy tale romance) to live happily ever after. If only the pieces were all squares, circles, and rectangles, and so few that after a short process of elimination it appeared obvious to you and I that the round piece fits into the round hole and that this or that person should be ours.
But it is not that obvious at all. The pieces are just a little more complicated, and certainly more numerous than we would like. So the choice becomes more complex and not simply good vs evil, but rather between the good, the better and the best. I am not suggesting that God is waiting to give us the person who is the best but that He will always give us what is best and that this alone, this confidence in His faithfulness, should be our peace. If this does not bring you peace, I assure you, no person will.
These things, these longings and desires, they can be as difficult as they are joyous. Here, where the expectation is still for a hand to hold, let us keep perspective. Later we may exchange these set of problems and needs for a whole new set of problems and needs. It will profit you to trust God here and now, rather than later, even a moment later.
You can ask when, where, who, and perhaps even why. After all, hearing that God is in control and has plans for our lives does get old and can seem so drab. But it is true is it not? Let me answer for you, “Yes. It is true.” True that the reward is the presence and person of God himself. A presence for which no man, woman, or child, can play substitute. He is a person like no other.
These things, these desires of our hearts, these cravings, and this one in particular, to love a person and to be loved by that person, these are of God, but we live in a fallen world. The people are perverted, the ground is cursed and even we, the redeemed, are being MADE holy. We are being MADE into the image of His Son. We are sadly only in the process of becoming people who can foster perfect relationships.
As for now we have mouths that curse and hearts that deceive. That is why these things are so difficult. That is why a deeper and more meaningful relationship with anyone on any level cannot prosper apart from your own commitment to learn from God His ways.
So if you are still lonely and wondering why. If the pieces still seem numerous and unmatched. If someone has jammed a round piece into a square hole and actually seems to be making it work…don’t stare. Do not envy them. Come back to the garden. Walk in the noonday and talk with Him.
Though we could shove and force our way in, or pull and drag someone into a relationship, we may simply be planting perfectly good seeds in the dry desert sand of our own human desires. It may be that right now He waters another field we cannot see. To me, even if love’s flower fails to bloom there but He is there then that is the garden for me.
Ps. 9:10, Ps. 37:5, Ps. 85:10, Prov. 3:5, Prov. 22:19, Isa. 30:15, Job 22:21, Nahum 1:7, Num. 6:24-26
Copyright (c) 1999 Hudson Russell Davis
“To me, even if love’s flower fails to bloom there but He is there then that is the garden for me.”
I fully agree.